i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
