What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
