guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize