Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
