just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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