Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  dude. stop pregaming the food network.

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  (215): im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL (609): dude. stop pregaming the food network. http://tfl.nu/x76m
  Replies (6) Good night (2344) Bad night (715)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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  (207): I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend? http://tfl.nu/xxqb
  Replies (49) Good night (1026) Bad night (3003)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time

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  (248): I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time http://tfl.nu/uesv
  Replies (8) Good night (1210) Bad night (5381)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

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  (204): I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back. http://tfl.nu/sbtj
  Replies (7) Good night (818) Bad night (5403)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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  (267): he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain. http://tfl.nu/91dn
  Replies (13) Good night (4507) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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  (+44): Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips. http://tfl.nu/4kys
  Replies (1) Good night (2371) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.

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  (408): You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you. http://tfl.nu/r2tt
  Replies (2) Good night (1539) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.

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  (607): I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/mq74
  Replies (14) Good night (2443) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.

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  (443): Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude. http://tfl.nu/yo4l
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects

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  (315): While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects http://tfl.nu/c75x
  Replies (3) Good night (1515) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (655): View more from

  Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?

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  (655): Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall? http://tfl.nu/cvrt
  Replies (12) Good night (1951) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson

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  (804): I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson http://tfl.nu/bost
  Replies (0) Good night (598) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?

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  (732): I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/2e8m
  Replies (1) Good night (485) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant

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  (563): Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/dywh
  Replies (2) Good night (506) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password

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  (505): the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password http://tfl.nu/hr8l
  Replies (6) Good night (230) Bad night (53)

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