Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
