that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
