i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
only you would photoshop your dick
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed