I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.