guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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