ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

  Fav 9 3879 778

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me they were just razor bumps!

  Fav 48 2039 25249

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (607): View more from New York

  Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles

  Fav 16 5617 1255

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.

  Fav 30 4318 2523

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.

  Fav 14 7396 2090

  share tweet
  

• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans

  Fav 7 3394 1094

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (254): View more from Texas

  There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

  Fav 18 2887 1851

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.

  Fav 7 1064 1531

  share tweet
  

• (816): View more from Missouri

  where are you?

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick

  Fav 4 1738 711

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"

  Fav 3 1579 602

  share tweet
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed

  Fav 0 681 450

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.

  Fav 0 924 524

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!

  Fav 0 593 339

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.

  Fav 0 753 300

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (260): View more from Indiana

  Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.

  Fav 1 392 168

  share tweet
  

Randomize