hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
