I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm always down for nudity.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
