If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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