And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
