How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
