its not stalking. its research.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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