Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
