Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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