I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
