he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
