Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Me too!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
