We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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