Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
