He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
