he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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