loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
