alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
