i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
