I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize