you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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