I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
