It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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