Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize