i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
