he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
