Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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