no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
