I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
