dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
