So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We just shotgunned beers for America
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize