I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
