Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
