Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
