Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
