Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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