I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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