Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
