Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
