so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
