I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
