So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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