don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize