can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
