You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
