you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
