I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
