no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
