I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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