Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
