u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize