Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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