A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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