I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
