she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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