I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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