Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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