He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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