So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
