My sheets look like a crime scene.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
