i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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