he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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